Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
