its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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