what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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