There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize