He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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