opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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