After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
