As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
