There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
