If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
