the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
