pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I understand Curling. That high.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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