It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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