Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
