They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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