why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
