great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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