Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
