Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
