9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize