You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
