Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
