Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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