He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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