But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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