I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
