I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize