I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
