so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
