I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
