One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
