no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
