but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
