Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
