Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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