what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
