Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
