K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
