their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
