Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
