BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is classic penis vs brain.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize