your thong is hanging out like whoa
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
