also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
