Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
