She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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