I love black thongs
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
