Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
