if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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