You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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