"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
