hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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