I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
