I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
