it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize