So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
