I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
