As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
