So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
