love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drunk is not a location!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
