Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
