I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
