My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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