p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
