what day is it and did you see me today?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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