yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
