turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
