ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want her autograph on my taint
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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