Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
